I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
3pm strippers are depressing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
