The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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