that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
