dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
