All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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