Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
