Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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