Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Alive.
So much puke
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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