what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
