Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
