My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize