Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
