i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
