My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
