Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
