yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
