Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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