I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
