Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
