My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
