Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
