There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
