I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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