I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize