i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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