I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
