Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize