I think I am morally bankrupt
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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