So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
