Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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