used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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