Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
