all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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