He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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