The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
