So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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