So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
