We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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