every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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