So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
