i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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