You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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