Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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