what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
