Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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