:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
