whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
