So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize