i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
