they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize