ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
