god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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