Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize