I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
