hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
