it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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