dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
