yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
