You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
look no pants
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
