She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
