i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it's like iHOP with fire
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
