Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
