Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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