But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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