i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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