WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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