OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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