Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's blow job season.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
