the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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