went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
