Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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