You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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