"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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