I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
