at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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