you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
me + whiskey = a bad person
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
