**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
