What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
