xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
