Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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