she woke up with a sticky ear
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
