I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
