My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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