We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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