Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
