hotel room ftw
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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