Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
